9. Idiots Among Us

 When I was arrested I was immediately re-branded.  I went from 'reliable, invested Stay-At-Home Dad' to 'lying drug addict self-absorbed loser' in an instant.  Even after two decades of accruing evidence of being a multi-faceted individual on the opposite side of that spectrum I'm still just a drug addict to the people who proclaimed their love and enduring support.  

It was unfair and uninformed then.  It's unfair and uninformed now.  In my opinion, those self-righteous insincere mother fuckers were wrong and not a single one of them has apologized, or acknowledged that.  I'd rather be  a crackhead opioid needle sticking addict than a coward.  That's just me, though. I'm an addict.  I don't always make the best decisions. 

I've always struggled with the label I was given.  I stayed silent when people draped me in the ignorant stigma they used to describe or disparage me at cocktail parties.  I didn't challenge the folks who traded inaccurate and damaging gossip about me for a moment of social attention, or a false sense of importance.  Knowing something personal about someone and sharing it despite the pain it will cause doesn't make you influential.  It makes you a self-centered asshole.  And I'm the one people avoid.  Not all the idiots among us are addicts.

The purpose of this post is simple.  I'm going to share some of the information I've intuitively known that has recently been identified as fact.  We all need to be more humble when opining on issues we don't know much about or have never experienced.  We need to be more like Justin Bieber.  No one should be left to drown on their own.  Not even a lying drug addict self-absorbed loser like me.

______________________________

The following information is from The Mind Remake Project on substance abuse.    It stands on it's own so I'll just say this.  Maybe we should try being nicer to people in pain, in struggle.  Maybe we can provide space for their voice in the experience they're having.

I'm totally kidding.  If you're down that low I have the right to kick you.  In the head.  I'm SO gonna kick your messed up addict shaped head....

Fuckin' Bieber.

• "JS discussed ignorance and stigma; he shared that individuals with substance use disorders are often subjected to mistreatment, even from professionals in the field. “There are substance abuse counselors who perpetuate harmful addiction myths, once widely accepted as fact, but discredited by the scientific community decades ago. JS shared examples of common myths: “All addicts are liars.” “Addicts are lazy and selfish.” “It’s not a disease, it’s a choice.” The lack of compassion when it comes to substance abuse is mindboggling and painful to encounter. Often, it stems from a lack of understanding or knowledge about substance abuse and those with substance use disorders. They are just people who are struggling with something far beyond their control. And those in treatment? They are just people trying to get better. And in case I didn’t make it clear; they are just people.
• ”Misconception: Many people use trauma as an “excuse” for using drugs/alcohol. Fact: There is a strong association between trauma and addiction, and research indicates that addiction is directly linked to childhood abuse and trauma. It may seem like an excuse, but substance use is oftentimes a means of survival and/or a way to cope with unthinkable atrocities.
• Misconception: Some people have “addictive personalities.”Fact: The truth is that every personality “type” is prone to addiction; we’re all biologically wired for addiction since our thoughts/behaviors are influenced by the brain’s reward system. Risk factors, not personality traits, are linked to the development of a substance use disorders. Risk factors may include biological influences (including genetics and differences in brain receptors), environmental influences, age of first use, and method of use.
• Misconception: Addiction is a character flaw or weakness. Fact: The idea that addiction is a moral failing is based on the moral model of addiction. The reality is that addiction has little to do with moral conviction; both inherently “good” and “bad” people are susceptible to developing a substance use disorder. That being said, a person in active addiction may act in contrast to their values; but that doesn’t mean they’re morally flawed. The moralization of addiction and associated stigma only contribute to guilt, shame, and a decreased willingness to seek treatment.
• Misconception: Abstinence is the only path to recovery. Fact: Recovery is not one-size-fits-all. For some, abstinence may be the only acceptable route, but for others, a reduction in use or the use of a less harmful substance is the desired outcome.
• Misconception: You have to attend 12-step meetings and work the steps to get sober. Fact: While AA and NA are often part of sustained sobriety, they are not the only way to stop using drugs or alcohol. Alternative evidence-based treatments for addiction include cognitive behavioral therapy, medication, family therapy, and group therapy.
• Misconception: “Once an addict, always an addict.” Fact: Having a substance use disorder increases your chances of becoming addicted to other substances, but the belief that you’ll forever be an “addict” can be counterproductive or harmful. People grow and change, and may stop viewing themselves as “addicts” when they leave the lifestyle behind. The belief that “once an addict, always an addict” also depends on the recovery model you subscribe to; for example, AA/NA principles support the idea of the “lifelong addict,” but those who believe in other models may prefer to call themselves “ex-addicts” or simply say, “I don’t drink.”
• Childhood trauma isn’t something you just get over as you grow up. Pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris explains that the repeated stress of abuse, neglect and parents struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues has real, tangible effects on the development of the brain.This unfolds across a lifetime, to the point where those who’ve experienced high levels of trauma are at triple the risk for heart disease and lung cancer.

In closing, allow me to shout a heartfelt and sincere "Fuck You and Thanks For Hearing Me Out and Being There When I Needed You" to my amazing, morally superior siblings.   I'm totally kidding.  Fucking idiots.